Base 1. Week 1.

Monday comes.  You get up, go to work, and struggle to make it till 5pm.  You clock out, go to a meeting, maybe do some homework, and next thing you know…it’s midnight.

Tuesday is equally time consuming.  If you’re lucky, you get a few minutes to play with your dog before going to your yoga class.  Afterwards, you take care of another commitment, get in your car, and hope to get home and eat dinner before 11pm.  Did you ride the trainer?  Get your workout in?  Maybe?  No?  At this point, you’re lucky if you got a chance to eat.

Wednesday.  You’re finally over your “case of the Mondays”.  If you’re not staying late at work, you’re rushing home to jump on the trainer before your body realizes how tired you are.  Your dog looks at you like you’ve abandoned him.  You look down at the Garmin and realize you’ve only been riding for 20 minutes.  You hate the trainer.  You might quit early, or you might suck it up and finish your workout.  Throw a stick for the dog.  Get in bed by 10.  You still miss him.  You stuff it down and fall asleep.

It’s almost the weekend.  You tried to get up at 4:30 to get on the trainer, but you pressed snooze 14 times.  You don’t dream about him as much as you used to.  Four cups of coffee down and it’s time to go to work.  You’re almost in a good mood by Thursday, because you know it’s a stone’s throw to the weekend.  You make it to 5pm, clock out, and go home to spin out your legs on the trainer, because it’s still dark and cold when you get off work.

Friday.  Hell yes.  You are upbeat and bouncy because you know it’s almost time for two entire days to yourself.  You FINALLY get up at the ass crack of dawn to ride the trainer, because you’re going to do one of two things when you get off work.  #1: Have a drink with friends.  #2: Go on a date.  It doesn’t matter which one you actually get to do at this point.  You just want to be free to be the social butterfly you left for dead a few months ago.  You want to go back to race weekends and road trips.  You want to be ready for new race weekends and road trips.  You get rid of Clark Kent and jump right in to being Superman again.  You have almost let him go entirely.

Saturday.  It’s cold, but you’re tired of riding your bike inside.  You put on whatever you have to in order to brave the cold.  The freedom you feel as you whip your bike through the city streets is overwhelming.  You can’t tell if you’re frozen or just feeling good.  You catch up with your riding buddies and begin your journey.  Nothing crosses your mind.  The outside world doesn’t stand a chance.  You are all smiles.  Your skin is frozen, but your soul is warm.  Nothing else matters in this moment.  You ride home, shower, and meet up with a perfect stranger.  You smile, nervously mess with your scarf, and can’t stop blushing in the middle of your sentences.  It’s fresh.  It’s something you haven’t experienced in a while.  He’s brand new.  3 hours go by like nothing at all.  That innocent schoolgirl feeling comes rushing back like you never banished it away in the first place.  Saturday.

Wake up.  The sun is out.  Don’t waste it.  Rush, rush, rush to get it all done.  Money on the brain.  You have a meltdown about your place in the world.  No matter how hard you try, money always fucks things up.  Car breaks down.  No one can help you.  You are a grown woman!  Do it yourself!  Freak out!  Meltdown!  You’re not good enough!  Don’t listen to that!  Focus!  Cry!  Stop freaking out!

Go ride your bike…

Almost 3 hours later, you forgot what you were crying about in the first place.  The sun is out.  Don’t waste it.

This is my life.


“While you make pretty speeches,
I’m being cut to shreds
You feed me to the lions,
a delicate balance

And this just feels like spinning plates
I’m living in cloud cuckoo land
And this just feels like spinning plates
My body is floating down the muddy river”

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