From Within

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I’ve returned to my yoga practice with open arms.  It’s been a few years since I rolled out the mat and surrounded myself with like-minded people, searching for something from within.  It wasn’t until this week I came to understand what yoga really means to me.  At first, I was simply trying to find a way to occupy my mind and fill up my newly acquired downtime.  I was willing to do anything to shut off my mind…to distract my heart from the troubles that surrounded me.  I quickly realized my practice would be so much more than I had bargained for.  And I am grateful.

Getting on the bike has been a struggle, and I’ve had to learn how to let myself say no.  I pulled out of Turkey ‘Cross after one lap.  My mind was polluted and my heart wasn’t in it.  I didn’t even cry out in dissapointment.  I felt like a shell of the girl who used to feel too much.  Luckily, I don’t race for a living, and my chances of making big strides at this point in the season are fairly slim.  My only goal is to finish strong, both mind and body.  I simply want to feel accomplished, in spite of what’s crumbling around me.

Yoga is teaching me to let go.  It’s teaching me to BREATHE.  I’m learning how to love myself.  I’m learning how to focus on the important things.  I may be taking baby steps, but at least I’m walking.  If nothing else, I gain perspective for the 90 minutes I’m on that mat.  Eventually….well…I hope to take that perspective out into the world.

It comes from within.  No single person or object can imitate it.  Nothing can replace it.  You have to look within yourself and be diligent.  Be strong.  Most importantly, be yourself.

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