I’m not sure what’s going on inside my body but I am scared.  Given my family history, it’s hard not to lay in bed at night and worry.  Even now, at the breakfast table drinking my coffee, I can’t help but wonder what’s happening to me.  I know worry only takes you to a dark place of no return, but I don’t want to be sick.  So many things are unknown right now.  I have been assured this will all be ok, but I don’t feel ok.  I’m tired.  My emotions are running high…higher than normal.  It’s affecting my bike riding.  It’s affecting my personal relationships.  It’s affecting that one person I want to hold close…and I want to be closer right now.  I’m afraid it’s going to cause me to ruin it all.  I’m tired.

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