Here I am, almost 33 years old, and nothing to show for it. I’m angry. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to break everything I see. What’s the problem here? Why do the good people get shit on? Why did I go to college THREE TIMES?
This is bullshit.
So I’m here, unemployed. I have looked everywhere. I have applied for everything. I have accepted random, part-time gigs for way less than a living wage, just so I could have a glimmer of pocket change for when things get really bad. Because things haven’t turned “REALLY BAD” yet. But hey, I lived in my car once. I can do it again.
I’m getting turned down for server jobs. Café jobs. Babysitting jobs. All this stuff I can do in my sleep. I had an interview for a dinky café yesterday morning. He told me I was overqualified. I have applied for unemployment, but that doesn’t look too promising. I think I exhausted all my funds the last time I was a poor, homeless person.
I have a college degree. Hell, I have two college degrees. I am a paramedic. I busted my ass for 15 months, with no sleep, with only 3 whole days off the entire time. I cried. I lost my mind. I never thought I’d make it out alive…but I did. And for what? To be pushed aside in a stack of paperwork because I don’t know the right people? Fuck that. This country has gone to total shit. How can you tell me I’m not qualified for a job opening, when I have all the paperwork to prove just how much I sacrificed?
I didn’t sleep for over a year, so I could get thrown up on.
I lost weight because I couldn’t eat. I did this so someone could assault me and spit in my face.
I had countless migraines due to stress, so I could get up at 3am for your toothache.
I spent $6,000 of my hard-earned money, so I could make $11/hr driving your lazy ass to the hospital. For what? Because you needed pain pills.
I took a chance on a feeling, applied for medic school, got accepted, and smashed it like a boss. So maybe, just maybe, I could save someone. Those times are few and far between, but that’s why any of us in EMS do this stupid shit.
SO GIVE ME A JOB. I’m pleading with you, world. I may not be good enough for a boy, fast enough to win a bike race, or happy enough to please myself, but I am a good medic. Don’t let me slip through your fingers without a chance. I deserve a chance.