Things have “normalized” in my life recently.  I’m on a pretty awesome sleep schedule, work hasn’t grinded me down, I’ve taken a break from painful relationships and the bike has been amazing.  Inevitably, what goes up eventually falls to the ground.  Today wasn’t life shattering, but I was disappointed.  If you haven’t noticed, I am EASILY discouraged, and the bike let me down today.  Actually, I let myself down…

Racing ‘cross totally changed how I ride in the woods.  I’m taking better lines, making better turns and my climbing is stronger than last year.  Overall, I am winning.  In true Megan style, it’s STILL not good enough.  On one hand, I have improved quickly and should be proud of my hard work.  On the other hand, I’m not where I want to be.  I’m impatient.  I want to be where my peers are.  I want to ride like I’ve been doing this forever.

Today I felt stronger, just not faster.  Why can’t I give myself a break?

I rode so well last week.  55 miles with an average of 17.8 mph and 19 mph in the pace line.  No big deal for most of you, but for me?  Shit.  That’s huge.  I have so much potential…I really feel it.  I just need to hold on to a logical perspective.  I must not let a rough patch tear down what I’ve built up so far.  Today was merely a training day.

Today I learned to be disappointed, no matter how much effort I put forth.  If I’ve learned anything lately, it’s this…

We don’t always get what we feel in our heart.  Today was no different.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. dlavs says:

    dont forgot the most important thing; riding bikes is supposed to be fun. the more fun you have, the more you ride, the faster/better you get at it. dont over think it.

  2. Chip says:

    Keep at it!!! You sound like my son, he started riding 6 months ago and has started riding for UCSB. He has made huge strides but always wants more!!!! Be happy for the gains you have made and keep pushing for more!!! You will get there!!!!!!

  3. Andrew says:

    Do you train with a powermeter? It would tell you you are doing well even if appears you are having a crappy day on the bike.
    The new sram meters are affordable,
    these replace non drive side crank arm for power

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