Never easy…

It’s easier to ignore the truth and settle for whatever you wanna call this.  It’s NOT easy.  This has never been easy.  It will continue to be internally excruciating.  The outside is covered in glitter, sitting underneath a rainbow, surrounded by flowers and happiness and puppies.  Yeah, all that smiley shit.  I’m not unhappy.  I’m not happy.  I’m in limbo.  I have moments.  I have clarity.  Still constantly surrounded, forever surrounded.  Sometimes smothered.  Always here when I’m overwhelmed.  Never here when I’m lonely.  No sleep.  Never sleep.  I sleep to dream.  I wake up.  It’s gone.  They think they know.  They think they are superior.  They are nothing.  They do nothing.  They see nothing.  They feel nothing.  I feel nothing.

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