I was doing so well. I managed to squeeze my first two training runs in this week. I had logged over 12 hours at the new job on Tuesday and Wednesday…AND pushed myself to run sometime after 9 pm on both days. Not to mention they were GREAT runs. I had today all planned out. School, errands, group run and abs class. I didn’t get out of class until nearly 3 pm and my errands were cut short due to the immense hunger I felt deep down in my belly. I decided at this point it would be best if I just stayed in Blountville and ran on my own. I had a VERY tough course in mind. I ate a cookie (GU has just as much sugar, so don’t hate!) and purchased a sugar free Rockstar to help muster up the energy I would need for the hilly course around my house. I put in my infamous Lil Jon CD and got “crunk” on my way home from Kingsport. The thunderstorm was also headed right for me. I CAN DO THIS, DAMMIT.
Got home. Let the dog out. Checked the radar. Saw the BIG flashes of lightning. Started getting sleepy. Started getting hungry. Started to realize I might not be able to do this. Storm showed up. Started cooking dinner. Realized I would have to run after the storm passed. Planned on running a gazillion laps in my neighborhood after my food settled…in the dark. Started to feel sleepy again. Put in a load of laundry. Watched the gully washer outside. Felt the failure creeping up my leg. Screw this. I’m not going.
I feel like my excuses are just that…excuses. Just because I fell asleep standing up TWICE this week doesn’t mean I’m too tired to train, right? Just because I fell asleep in class this morning and accidentally wrote all over my face with an ink pen doesn’t mean I’m too tired to train, right? I don’t know how the “ironfolks” do this shit. I’m exhausted. Not even from running…just from my crazy life as a medic student. My runs actually make me feel better, but I couldn’t muster up the “whatever” I needed to accomplish tonight’s run.
I know it’s normal to miss a few runs, but I feel like I’ve failed. I’m by no means a professional, but I do take some pride in getting stuff done in the midst of my crazy schedule. Today I gave in…and I don’t like it.