Stigmata

When you’ve been diagnosed with a disease, people seep out of the woodwork to offer well wishes and assistance. You’ll get greeting cards in the mail and daily Facebook wall posts telling you to “hang in there!” and “get well soon!” Those with religious beliefs will pray for you and ask God for healing. Spiritual…

Transparency is the New Black

  Good morning and welcome to 2018. I managed to patch together a full night of sleep, in spite of insomnia and partying neighbors. Chico (my dog) spent the second half of the evening in the bed with me, which is quite the rare occurrence, but necessary since my neighborhood was lit up like the…

Mind’s Eye

Somehow, the act of sitting down with yourself with the willingness to simply be with yourself as you are, whether you show up in your most brilliant or puniest form, relaxes the inner critic or whatever stands behind our oppressive self-criticism and incessant efforts to improve ourselves. Meditation says, “I don’t care if you are…

January again

I’ve been working on this post for a couple months. I feel a moment of inspiration and just as soon as it arrives, it leaves me with only a few sentences. I have wounded soldiers all throughout my WordPress draft folder. I’ve been searching for motivation on and off the keyboard, and taking refuge in…

Fate sounds like a made up word to describe something that you will never actually obtain. Until you obtain it.

I spent the entirety of last night tossing and turning in my bed, twisting my sheets up into a sweaty knot and allowing my mind to take the wheel. I’ve never been good at sleeping, and I’m no stranger to cold sweats and nightmares. But are they really nightmares if you’re not actually dreaming? And…

13

I tried desperately to keep my eyes open long enough to see the United States come crumbling down in real time, but multiple sleepless nights and an endless glass of wine rendered me helpless. I slept like a baby for a few hours, then awoke in a panic around 3:30 this morning as I fumbled…

Cue the Guitar Solo

Where were you in 1991? It still blows my mind to think about how long ago that was. Remember when the 90s were just a few years ago? I was 11 years-old and experiencing some of the best and worst times in music history. I was very much an MTV kid, and spent hours recording…

The Last Day of Summer

Cindy stripped the ball from the other team’s point guard, and I started sprinting towards the other side of the court as hard as I could. We knew each other’s style so well we didn’t even have to lock eyes to know what was about to happen. I put my hand up and she threw the ball in…

Eva Bandman Part Zwei

My first big cyclocross race was the 2012 USGP in Louisville. I was a fresh cat 4 with very little fitness and even fewer technical skills. The course was unlike anything I had ever seen. Racing at Eva Bandman was the perfect way to spend my 32nd birthday weekend. I was desperately in love with cyclocross,…

The Birdsong 500

I don’t remember how or why I decided to play sports. I was incredibly young and a minority in the 1980s athletic world, but I can still remember the first time I felt the buzz of competition. I loved the game, but the fire that burned inside me was kept alive by winning. I felt like…